It’s taken me a while to think about which one of my dramatic life events is worthy enough to be posted as my first story time. I had a little bit of difficulty thinking about a specific topic until I mentioned it to one of my long time childhood friends. She immediately said to me, “Hey remember that guy you were OBSESSED with in grade 9??” ……it didn’t even take me a millisecond to remember his name. Bingo. KB is about to bring you some high school Boy Talk.
High school. A time where you don’t know who likes you…TBH you don’t even know if you like yourself?! Anyways, going to an all girls school didn’t make interacting with boys any easier. Whenever my friends and I would go to a party I always had the urge to spew projectile word vomit on anyone who would listen (Side note- I still have this problem today SOS). It’s not like I wanted to have word vomit, it would just come out! KB had no control over a word that she was saying half the time she’d be at social gatherings. I’m sure most people were probably thinking, “Wow that girl is bonkers”…..I sure was my friends, I sure was. One night a couple of friends and I went out to a house party. One of my friends had mentioned to me that she knew a guy who was at the party who would be perfect for me. Of course, many 14 year old girls gets extremely bubbly and excited when a guy is put into the equation. NOT KB. The minute she told me about this mystery man, and yes, for the sake of anonymity; we will refer to him as ‘Mystery Man’ – I started having an intense hot flash — yeah, I didn’t know 14 year olds could get hot flashes either. I didn’t know what to say, I just stood there awkwardly looking at my friend. I’m presuming my friend took that as an, alright I’m down. She pointed him out at the party and there were maybe around 100 people in the house so I could easily stare at him for a little while without him noticing. He was a pretty popular guy at the time and everyone knew him. Of course, he was surrounded by his buddies as if he was some sort of king…bleh, classic high school hierarchy behaviour. At that moment, I had my first high school crush. Being the awkward KB that I’ve always been, I did not approach him…I just stared at him for a solid five minutes worried that if I spoke a word to him my WVD – Word Vomit Disease – would come out. I must’ve looked like a god damn stalker to anyone who had looked my way. I left the party without even saying hi to him.
Fast forward to the next morning. I told every single one of my friends that I had the biggest crush on this guy. Little did I know at the time that he was hooking up with half of the fricken city. It was as if it were some sort of accomplishment to hook up with Mystery Man. I immediately brushed it off, however I was still intrigued by MM. It was about a week later, that he added me on Facebook. It was during a time when everyone was adding each other on Facebook as if having 1,000+ fb friends is necessary (rolls eyes). I was ecstatic. I couldn’t believe it. MM knew who I was? How? WELL, here’s where it gets interesting. I was immediately branded the psycho word vomit hot flashes girl after my first few high school parties (people still think I’m that same girl till this day btw even though it was 7 years ago…). I was so embarrassed but kind of happy that at least people knew who I was.
We started chatting and I was immediately obsessed. I thought I was in love and I would literally talk about MM to anyone that would listen. It’s super hilarious to think about now that I’m older but back then, oh boy I was serious. I literally thought we were going to get married…by the way, WE NEVER EVEN DATED. I barely knew MM and I was thinking about marrying him. Oh how fascinating the teenage brain can be.
Here’s where the story takes a turn. Before I got with MM I had all these thoughts of wedding bells and our future together. The minute I got with him all of the sparks faded. I was so confused. I realized I didn’t even like him at all, I was infatuated with him. I liked the idea of MM, but I turned a blind eye to the person he actually was. I found out that he was one of the top players in the city… and no my friends, I’m not talking about football players or anything like that, he played a different sport; girls. He never cared about me, he was just playing games. He would say things that he knew I wanted to hear just to shut me up and keep me in the game. It took me over two years to finally realize that he would never be with me and I finally came to the conclusion that I really didn’t need him in my life. After all, he just saw me as the psycho word vomit girl anyways.
After that experience, my eyes were opened. I still get hot flashes every now and then when I get super nervous in front of guys, yes, I’ll admit that (Dear God, WHY DID YOU BLESS ME WITH ALL THESE PROBLEMS?!). However, I’m so much smarter when it comes to knowing bullshit when I see it. I hear he’s dating some girl now, but I also hear that he cheats on her all the time. My featured picture is the epitome of High School KB…no wonder so many people thought I was crazy. I guess some things never change…including my Word Vomit Disease. 😉